Scott Berndes is the President of the Power Surge travel organization out of San Diego and has had great success in his 24 years of coaching in the sport, including two national championships and a runner-up finish at PGF Nationals in 2018.

He also has quite the resume in helping talented players get to the collegiate level, including future stars and eventual NCAA champions such as pitcher Selina Ta’amilo, outfielders Aaliyah Jordan and Chip Bennett at UCLA, infielder Cydney Sanders at Oklahoma and other standouts such as catcher Carlee Wallace, who helped Auburn finish second at the Women’s College World Series in 2016.

Coach Scott was a D1 baseball player himself at UC Riverside and when his daughter was six years old, his local league leaders found out about his college experiences and asked him to be a softball coach for his young daughter’s team. Like many in fastpitch softball, “Coach” has been doing it ever since!

Scott is a regular contributor to Line Drive Softball as we love to share his expertise and valuable insights to the softball world!

Previous articles he’s written for us include:

• The Importance of Hustle & A Good Attitude (Nov. 6, 2024)
• How to Create Your Top College List (Oct. 5, 2024)
• Recruiting Strategies… From the Perspective of a Head Recruiter (Sept. 22, 2024)

oday, the accomplished coach and org head lists 13 no-no’s parents should avoid… and provides some hilarious memes that support his points… check them out now!

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Coach Scott begins talking directly to athletes’ moms and/or dads:

“I have been coaching now for 30 years and have enjoyed every moment, but you parents sure could have made it easier on me!”

“I am going to give you a list that—if you follow it—will ensure that you won’t be that parent but, instead, you will be a mom or dad that supports your daughter and her coaching staff.”

He adds:

“These are not in any order of importance as ALL of these are important! In other words, avoid these behaviors and you’ll be well on your way to becoming the ideal softball parent…”

1. Don’t go in the freakin’ dugout!

Having to shoo parents out of the dugout who are coddling their daughters with food and other comforts is something a coach does not want to deal with. Stay clear and don’t come near… the dugout that is.

2. Don’t coach from the stands

Maybe the biggest “don’t” of all: you have a coach, so let him or her coach! It looks really bad for a parent to coach from the stands and get this: it confuses the heck out of your poor daughter. Don’t do it!

3. Don’t cheer for your daughter only

This classic no-no involves the parent who sits in the stands reading a book during the game, When the daughter/player comes up to hit, the parent puts the book down to cheer for his or her child. After the athlete is done at the plate, the parent picks up the book, ignores the rest of the players and continues to read the book. Really?!? How about cheering for your daughter’s teammates, too?

4. Don’t talk only about your daughter

Only talk about your daughter. Only talk about your daughter. Only talk about your daughter. Think this is getting old? Then stop it! It’s annoying to all.

5. 

   Do not talk badly about your old team

The No. 1 rule when joining a new team is to not bag on the previous team. Doing that signals to the new coaches that you eventually will also trash them and your current team. What a big red flag!

6. Don’t bug your coaching staff

Please don’t send emails and texts or call your coach all the time. Even if it is not complaining, coaches have a life, too. Or we like to think we do!

7. Don’t be late.

It’s a bad look and can start a bad trend. I have a saying: “If you are not early, you are late.”

8. Don’t be a non-participant in team activities

Each team is a family, and everyone is needed to help to make the team function. You certainly don’t want to be that parent who doesn’t help contribute to the team in any way.

9. Don’t carry your daughter’s bag

Really? Are you a valet? Your daughter needs to learn and show maturity… let her do it.

10. 

    Don’t schedule hitting or pitching lessons during your team’s practices

Your coach has prepared a lesson plan for every player on the team being there. He or she may work on things specific to your daughter and her not being at practice will disrupt his or her plans and the team’s plans. Also, we coaches have egos so scheduling lessons during practice time will make him wonder if you value the importance of the team’s practices.

11. Don’t use profanity directed at your coach.

I had honestly never thought of profanity being a problem for me… that is, until a parent called me the “rear end of a donkey.” I sat back and thought about it for a while after it happened. Ultimately, I told myself: “I don’t deserve this, I do the coaching for free… no pay. I just don’t deserve to be treated with profanity.”

12. Don’t go to a workout for another team

Don’t go to a tryout or workout of another team when you’re still competing for your current one… it’s the best way to get released by your team. Hanging around with opposing coaches is also not a good look. I saw this after a game one time when one of my players’ dads exchanged cell numbers with the coach we just played against. I guess it could have been to talk about the prices of coffee beans… but I doubt it.

13. Don’t be a pot stirrer!

Don’t be that parent who loudly second guesses from the stands everything the coach does. The parent who talks about why Susie is batting fourth in the line-up or why Sally should not be playing shortstop. Just stirring the pot gets all the parents talking and fired up. It’s the best (worst) way to ruin a team.

Coach Berndes concludes:

“Finally, know that these points are just scratching the surface on the ‘don’ts’ of being a softball parent. There are certainly more we can—and probably will—discuss in time, but, until then just know that being a good parent not only helps the team, most importantly, it really helps your daughter, too.”

— Scott Berndes/President of Power Surge